Explore, Create, Adventure

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Congratulations! You are now the proud parent of a toddler. The trust that they've experienced from you at birth-9 months of age is now going to be utilized to explore their world from 9-18 months of age. This involves moving around, touching, tasting, and in-general exploring. If a basic sense of trust was established during infancy from emotionally balanced and nurturing parents (that's you), the toddler will have a healthy sense of future exploration, creative risk taking, and adventure. And how cool is that for you to have planted those seeds in your child??! Parents need to have a lot of patience and emotional balance in order to look after their toddler constantly during this time (and to guide them) and to "tag team" when one needs a break and to find rest.

The second period kids go through from 18 months through 3 years old is the separation stage. This is the stage where your kids learn balance...in more ways than one. They will pump their "willpower" muscle to learn more about "holding on" and "letting go" and what that means in their life. In order for kids to develop healthy limits in their exploration; they need to have two parents that model a healthy expression of anger and good skills in resolving conflict (see first paragraph in regards to always being "on duty" and needing rest). When things are STRESSED (and they WILL be) kids are going to see, hear, and tuck it all away in their little subconscious minds (which by the way becomes tucked deep down in their future adult minds). Therefore, children need to witness two parents honestly expressing their true feelings and resolving their disagreements (about raising baby and about daily life) and realize that communication and compromise are a healthy part of any relationship.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do you have trouble knowing what you want?

Are you afraid to explore when you get to a new place?

Are you afraid to try new things? Before you do, do you wait until someone has tried it before you?

Do you have great fears of abandonment?

In difficult situations do you long for someone to tell you what to do?

If someone gives you a suggestion, do you feel you ought to follow it?

Are you a big worrier?

Do you have trouble being spontaneous? Are you too spontaneous?

Do you tend to be obsessive about neatness and cleanliness? Or is your space too out of order?

Will you do almost anything to avoid conflict? Or do you do things to trigger conflict (to reinforce that you are loved)?

Do you extremely overdo or over-consume anything in your life?  

Are you often excessively critical of other people?

Your answers were created from YOUR childhood. This period in your child's life is what forms their beliefs on control, adventure, worry, boundaries, and intimacy.

It’s equally important to learn during this stage that nobody is perfect.Your child needs to learn that they can have a bad day and still be loved (after those tantrums) and the same applies to you Mom and Dad. You're learning along the way. This is not a blame game. Fill your tool box with the tools that can help you model a healthy sense of boundaries, exploration, communication, risk-taking, and willpower for the little people in your life.

It's a compliment

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I was following some comments on an Instagram post the other day...a bit of a brew-ha-ha going on over what someone said and what exactly it meant by being said...and one of the comments on the post suggested that:

"I think women with hidden low self esteem would love any one giving them a compliment at any time, for validation and ego purposes. Women who aren’t like that and don’t need a compliment from a complete stranger in a neutral environment see it as inappropriate."

"I think women with hidden low self esteem would love any one giving them a compliment at any time, for validation and ego purposes. Women who aren’t like that and don’t need a compliment from a complete stranger in a neutral environment see it as inappropriate."

Honestly; it triggered me. I took the time to dive deeper why this comment written by someone that I don't know would bother me the way it did. I tore it apart and thought "is this me?!" Am I this woman with a hidden low self esteem?? And you know what. FUCK, NO!!! I find it better if I process these shadows in my own "space" on the internet rather than sort it out online, but this is what I believe: 

Compliments are beautiful if given in honesty, joy, and authenticity. and i like to receive them.

Compliments are beautiful if they are said from a place of honesty, joy, and authenticity. And YES! I like to receive them. 

When a compliment is given joyfully, honestly, and with sincere intention I believe it creates a connection between two people. It is an energy that whispers "I understand you. I am in agreement." It is not something you "look" for to give (like the salesperson you hear that compliments everyone as they walk in the door...) it's a FEELING. 


I like to think of it as a kind of gratitude. Being appreciative or grateful for the moment and sharing and expressing that gratitude of the senses with a compliment. It allows you to be more present when the compliment is given or received. 

Compliments can start a common ground. A starting point. You like this...why do you like it? Tell me more. I don't NEED a compliment, but if it is given in sincerity, I will take it. And thank the person for being kind and generous to share their thoughts with me. And I hope that any joy I have brought to that person, can be shared ten fold with others in some way.

 

 

TRUST

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Let's talk about trust. From 0-9 months is when a child will learn if he or she can trust entirely, depend on someoneand feel if he or she is WORTHY to depend on someone – therefore creating the blueprint for all other relationships in life and for manifestation.

In order to fully learn to trust, an infant's needs have to be entirely met. This may sound obvious...we're talking about a baby. an infant. a human that is helpless and completely co-dependent. But here's where a mom, dad, caregiver's role is so important. Along with PHYSICALLY taking care of baby's needs (feeding, changing, swaddling, soothing) it is also just as important that YOU are there EMOTIONALLY for this new life. Loving, joyful, communicative, and accepting of this new person in your life. If you are physically taking care of baby's needs, but emotionally lacking, this would plant a seed of shame or unworthiness in your child, and ultimately subconsciously plant an inability to fully trust and feel safe. 

If this safe environment and care-taking isn't well established, the need for outside soothing is imprinted during this phase of our life. Therefore, we’re more likely to develop pathological relationships with other forms of soothing later in life: food, chemicals, sex, shopping, _________ (filling the soothing void). I can totally relate to finding soothing in other ways (I used to be proud of being a "professional shopper" and then realized it was subbing in for something). My own personal story:

I was born three minutes later than my twin sister. My mother was 22 years old and suddenly had FOUR children under the age of six to take care of. My father was in the military, worked all day, and must have felt overwhelmed on his return back to home each evening. I look back now and believe that physically I was being taken care of but unfortunately was lacking emotionally as an infant. I'm not blaming my parents; they did the best they could with the tools they had. But this is why I feel it's so important to be familiar with these tools to raise children with high self worth to allow their lives to be more fulfilled in their future.  

Hug those babies, take walks, have talks, and tell them how amazing they are and how lucky you are. It's not always rainbows and unicorns with small kids; so take a break and hire a qualified sitter when you can to give more love and care (to you and the child). Get help when you need it and KNOW that what you are doing is the most important job there can be. You're not only raising a child...you're growing an adult.

 

Let's start at the very beginning...

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It all starts here.

 

For all the pregnant women, want to be, or planning to be moms out there—start your soon to be shared journey with deep SELF LOVE. Embracing this time and sharing the ❤️LOVE for YOU and your amazing body with the miracle 💫that’s growing inside of you.

 

Let the peanut🥜, the melon 🍉, the mango 😂know how loved and wanted they are. That may not always be the case; but even in those “oopsie-unexpected” cases let your babe know that you’ll turn this into a win. Let the light shine through you ✨and into your body to warm up any doubts you or your baby may be having. If you need help to see this; ask for it. Starting off this lifelong journey by welcoming and wanting your child is the start of creating their self worth.

 

I wanted to create this mini- series to empower moms and dads and give them insight and tools to build a strong foundation for their kids self-worth in each stage of childhood development as they grow into adults. Do you realize what POWER that is?

 

So many of us have to figure out why life isn’t playing out the way we would like— and so much of it is acknowledging and reprogramming low self-worth history in our lives.

 

If we can be aware of when and what kids need during their childhood—that is such a big bonus for them. This is not to blame ourselves or our parents- everyone is doing the best they can with the tools they have been given. I believe if we have the tools to utilize while our kids grow up- we can empower their future adult years while learning more about our own childhood and to grow stronger where we are.

Next: 0-9 months coming soon!

 

old dog new tricks

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Thought it might be fun to start a new series to share with you. "Old dog, new tricks" is about trying new things. Looking at life with a beginners mind. Instead of saying "no; I've never done that and I don't want to try" maybe you can say, "sure! why not?!" 

My first new trick is DRY BRUSHING. I've always heard about the benefits: 

Removes cellulite
Cleanses the lymphatic system
Removes dead skin layers
Strengthens the immune system
Stimulates the hormone and oil-producing glands
Tightens the skin preventing premature aging
Tones the muscles
Stimulates circulation
Improves the function of the nervous system
Helps digestion

so, sounds like it's something that would be a bonus to my life. Just bought a brush at Whole Foods (under $10) and am starting the brushing. I'll report back with results soon.

Should I or shouldn't I?

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Should I cut my hair? 🤔
Who hasn't said that at least once in their lives??! Most of the time...it's not about the hair. It's what's underneath the "why" of wanting to cut your hair. Have you ever noticed that if a friend or a celebrity that you follow does something drastic with their looks (and the easiest thing to make a change and possibly reverse it on your body = ✂️your hair) that something is happening in their lives. Divorce? Career? Seeking adventure? Overwhelmed? Not feeling appreciated?


Go ahead and book that appointment but also dig a little deeper. What do you really want out of the new cut, color, or style? An appointment at your hairdresser might make you feel better but if you haven't gotten to the root of the problem; you'll keep looking for other substitutes to fill in what's missing, what need you may have, and always end up feeling less than fulfilled. 
That's why I'm here, friends. 😍

I'm not going to talk you out of a haircut, traveling around the world, breaking up with your partner...but I do want to have a conversation about the "why" behind it all. It might be a decision that you're finally stepping into or one that you've had doubts about. And why the need to ask social media for advice?! Book an appointment and let's have a conversation...not just about hair but about changing your life.

scared stiff

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Sometimes you have such grand ideas and you write them down and keep adding more and more to the collection until you start to feel like you're drowning in a beautiful, deadly, sea of good ideas. You become tired. And unsure. And then you realize you need a map. 

Just like on google maps with "start here" and "you've arrived" you need to create that map to clear things up in that sea of ideas that your beautiful mind has created. Sure, there may be detours along the way and giant balls of string to see but you know where you want your final destination to be. 

Start to get clear in your head. And write it down. And take the first step to get there.

Rewrite YOUR stars

What if you could rewrite your stars? Do you think it's possible or do you think your future is already written and you just trudge along and never ask for more than you're given? Day to day without reaching for the joy, the talents, and the happiness that is waiting for you and that you deserve. You wish on every star that you could take hold and own what you want from that secret safe hidden spot deep down inside of you. Your wish is to see the wonder. the real. the light that has been hiding to step into the true you.

"Rewrite the Stars" from "The Greatest Showman" was the inspiration for me to try a little dance move I've always wanted to try but never did because it was always a little scary. It's not jumping into a new business or quitting a job to travel the world or starting the journey to lose 50 pounds... but to ME it was a joy I wanted to embrace. What about you? What do you want to rewrite in your stars, in your life to give you joy and to experience your true, authentic, beautiful self???! Are you ready? I'm here to help.

Iconic living

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Iconic. It's a word I've been attracted to lately. It keeps popping up and is such a beacon to guide me to where I want to be at this time in my life. Searching, exploring, discovering ideas, objects, and most importantly PEOPLE that shine light on the passions that I have and want to share with others. I'm at a time in my life where the quick fixes and here-today-gone-tomorrow beliefs don't bring me joy or results. I want the wisdom, the mindset, and substance of things that work and enhance my life. The good stuff. Things with excellence and proven outcomes. Utilizing that wisdom into my beauty, my body, mind & spirit. And I want to share it with you.

I hear a symphony

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Does anyone else remember listening to this in elementary school music class?! It almost felt like it was in secret code as you listened to the narrator and tried to identify the characters and understand the story as you listened. Who knew it was a bit of a Trojan Horse to allow kids to learn musical instruments and the sounds they make (and bravo for such a plan!).

Sometimes life is like a symphony. Beautiful notes played by virtuosos where we learn, enjoy, and wonder what the next song will be... breathtaking and beautiful. Other times those same instruments fill your life with a cacophony of noise with jumbled notes and discord. The same instruments but playing such harsh sounds. Why? Wouldn’t it be nice to have a guide to give us some insight on what to listen for?


I've been through many "symphonies" in my life and I've come to realize that I'm the one holding the conductor's baton and can create beautiful music by keeping body, mind, and spirit in tune . If you're in need of guidance to discover the "masterpiece" in you, I look forward to connecting over a session. ..