redesign

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I've been a student in some workshops lately that deal with getting into your subconscious to  recreate early stages in your life when your beliefs were formed and your true authentic self was being tested (yep; I live in California :). It's heady and fascinating and through the guided meditations (neuroplasticity hypnosis --to create new ways of thinking therefore allowing you to tap into your subconscious mind) you redesign moments and events in your life to create change on a cellular level -- it's quantum physics level-- and I'm a big believer. Redesign the past and it can change what you're giving and receiving today.

As silly as this sounds, when I was in 5th grade there was a girl who called me an "anteater" and (obviously) it stuck in my psyche that wow?! some person thinks I look like an anteater. I don't think I do; but do I?? Do other people think that? And here we are 50 years later...

So here's the thing--once this gets in your head--especially as a young child in the formative years--you become a tiny magnet to attract more of that thought, behavior, feeling into your life but you don't even realize it until years later. Not that everyone is going to call you "anteater" but you start to doubt how amazing and beautiful you are after you heard that comment and that doubt attracts more doubt and lack of confidence and a downward spiral stopping you from reaching your full potential.  Seriously. The comment is all elementary grade behavior...but it truly does sink into your subconscious and sets up a little home unless you decide to work through it and move it out. And through these workshops; I'm recreating that moment into how my true self would have liked to have seen it unfold.I hadn't thought of that time in YEARS but it was imprinted in my soul. It's fascinating. But wait. There's more.

Today I was doing errands, shopping, and just enjoying a gorgeous day. A handful of people stopped me and said "You are so beautiful". The young man at the parking lot indulged me with "You're your own brand. You got a smile on your face and you're just beautiful." 

It was very kind for these people to take time and say that but at my age it's not the validation that I'm looking for...it's the internal change in me. The  "anteater" comment sat in my subconscious and attracted more doubt, judgement,onto myself. And now, I've recreated that time in my subconscious along with others that piggy-backed on it in later years and immediately I'm projecting this change in me. 

If there's an area in your life where you are having a battle. Relationships, money, career, body image, etc...start to get curious about it. Think about your life when you were growing up and allow moments to come to you and realize you can recreate/redesign those moments into the way that you would have liked it to be. I don't blame that 5th grade classmate. Her comment was something some would have easily forgotten ; but there was a learning experience in there for me. And isn't that why we're all here? To learn more, love more, and leave a little wiser?